Jan

3

Relationship Lessons from “Biggest Loser”

January 3, 2008 |

As with some other reality shows, my wife got me roped into watching “Biggest Loser” - and I actually kind of like the series.  There are inspiring stories of people overcoming tremendous obstacles and doing incredible things.  Their weight-loss successes are a good example for us in overcoming our own obstacles, even if they are not weight-related.

In any case, the other night, we were watching the premiere of the new season.  And there were a few things said by the contestants that led me to believe that their life issues go beyond just their weight.

The theme of this season is “couples”.  Each team is made up of a couple - whether it be husband-wife, best friends, ex-teammates, mother-daughter, etc. 

One couple - a father-daughter team - had particular issues working together (and subsequently got voted off the show).  What got me was that she at one point said that “the decisions he’s made have never impacted me before.”  At another point, she said “we’ve never been on the same team before.” 

How sad?  A father’s decisions always impact his children.  Everything we do has an impact on us and consequently on our family.  It is folly to think that what we do as men does not impact our family.  Also, we are always on the same team as our wife adn children.  They are our team.  They better have our back, we better have their’s.  We all better be pulling in the same direction - trying to achieve the same goals.  And our children better always feel that we are there for them and helping them.

Another couple - an ex-husband and wife - had some issues which we could expect (considering they’re divorced but nevertheless came on the show together).  At one point, the ex-husband was asked a question in front of his ex-wife about whether their weight issues negatively impacted their marriage.  His response was that the weight wasn’t the issue - that ”someone” just gave up on the marriage.  His ex-wife started crying, explaining that they had promised each other that they wouldn’t criticize the other while on the show.  He was appropriately apologetic and quite tender toward her.  It was obvious, he still loved her (despite the dig).  Did she give up on him?  Was he always this critical toward her?  I bet we find out as the season goes on.

But, why do we criticize our wives at all?  I know I’m always taking digs at my wife - even when I know it’s just not right.  It’s like I can’t help it - or that I don’t see the harm it causes.  It’s my biggest flaw.  How about giving up in marriages?  Relationships are hard work and, too often, couples are unwilling to put in the work.  They give up and damage is left in the wake of the failure.  We can’t give up on our spouse.  It’s that simple.

Finally, the episode had a newlywed husband-wife team.  Each team got to pick one of two trainers to work with during the show.  The wife wanted one trainer - the husband wanted the other - and the wife “won”.  The rest of the show had the husband complaining about the choice. 

We need to always remember that we cannot live with our spouses if we do not back each other up.  When a decision needs to be made, we need to get our opinions and thoughts on the table.  We need to then make the decision together and live with it.  No carping, no complaining, no second-guessing the other.  When the decision is made, it’s made by both - not one or the other.

Christ wants us to live in peace and joy with each other.  Sometimes, he uses some interesting media to deliver that message and remind us of his expectations.  I guess I never thought that a reality show would be such a medium.


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