Archive for February, 2008

Dreams

theophilus February 10th, 2008

I bought a book the other day, The Dream Manager, by Matthew Kelly.  I finished it last night.  Now, I have to figure out what to do about what I read.

The premise of the book is that we all need to dream and have dreams that we are working to fulfill.  These dreams might involve our relationships, our career, material stuff, trips.  It doesn’t matter what the dreams are, the important thing is that we all should have things we want to do in life and we all should be helping others achieve the things that they should want to do in life.

The most important word in the previous paragraph is “should”.  We should have things we want to do in life – we should be helping others achieve the things that they should want to do in life.

But how many of us have stopped dreaming?  How many of us help others with their dreams?  How many of us even know someone else’s dreams?

And I realized something important – I’ve stopped dreaming.  In the day-to-day existence of trying to be a good father and husband, I have forgotten to dream.  I really can’t tell you anything in particular that I am working towards.  Part of this void is good because I am relatively content from a material perspective – I don’t want a bigger house or a nicer car, I’m happy with what I have. 

But, what do I want in life?  What is pushing me, other than a desire to not screw up the lives of those entrusted to me?  A constant effort to run from my fear that I will appear before Christ and he will question me on why I wasted my time and didn’t accomplish what he wanted of me?

And worse yet, I don’t have a clue what my wife’s dreams are?  When we got married, I knew her big dream was to be a mom – and she accomplished that dream and is a great one.  But, I couldn’t tell you what other dreams she has?  I’ve never asked her.

It didn’t use to be this way.  I used to dream and I dreamt BIG!  And I accomplished a number of these dreams – achieved more than what’s been expected of me.  But a few years back, I accomplished what I consider to be my last big dream and then I pretty much stopped dreaming.

I understand that a large part of why I stopped dreaming is the result of the realization that my primary responsibility is to feed and clothe three other people – and I embrace that role.  But it doesn’t mean I can’t accomplish dreams and fulfill that role at the same time. 

And then I realized that there is another reason I’ve stopped dreaming.  I let a job suck my ability to dream right out me.  Without realizing it, I stopped dreaming professionally and that led me to stop dreaming personally.  I’m in a different job now.  While I’m enjoying it and doing good work, I’m still not really dreaming.  And while I’ve done some cool things in the past few years, only three were the result of any sort of dreaming (and only one took any sort of effort to achieve) – I learned to cook, started this blog and ran a half-marathon.  The rest kinda came to me.

And I guess I need to start dreaming again.  We all need to dream.  We need to work towards our dreams.  We need to help others with their dreams.  Dreaming is a wonderful gift that God has given to us.  The great things in our world have come about through people fulfilling their dreams.

In The Dream Manager, Matthew Kelly suggests that we start dreaming again by writing down any dreams that come to us and accumulate 100 of them.  I think that is a good exercise for this Lent – because it will allow God to speak to us on where he wants us to go. 

I’ve started my list and I’m going to ask my wife to start her list.  And then we are going to start going after them.

This Lent, let’s learn to dream again.  Dreaming will renew and refresh us – and open us to the great things that God wants for us.  Dreaming will ensure we do not go through life aimlessly, giving in to every temptation and desire that befalls us.  It will ensure we are living our lives according to God’s plan for us.

May our dreams come true.

Table of Mercy & Forgiveness

theophilus February 9th, 2008

Today’s gospel is another example of the Pharisees just not getting it.  They were so wrapped up in their self-appointed sanctity that they just didn’t realize the incredible and merciful presence in their midst.

This particular instance involves Jesus calling St. Matthew to be a disciple.  St. Matthew was a tax collector – a profession that received absolutely no respect in its day.  To be a tax collector was to be the lowest of the low.  It was a license to steal and most did.  Worse yet, you turned most of the money you collected over to the occupying authorities.  Tax collectors were despised by the Jews and considered grave sinners.

Along comes Jesus and calls St. Matthew.  He has dinner at St. Matthew’s home – a dinner with other tax collectors and unsavory characters.  The Pharisees have a big problem with Christ associating himself with these miscreants.

Jesus replies by letting them know that -

“Those who are healthy do not need  physician, but the sick do.  I have not come to call the righteous to repentence but sinners.”

I can just see the Pharisees just puffing up their chests.  Some thinking, “well good, I’m righteous so I don’t need to repent.”  I can see them automatically thinking themselves superior to the diners at St. Matthew’s home.

Yet, I think Christ was almost being sarcastic when referring to the “righteous” versus the “sinners” – and the sarcasm went right over the Pharisees’ head. 

The Pharisees thought so highly of themselves that they thought they didn’t need Christ – they didn’t need to repent – they didn’t need mercy and forgiveness. 

But, we all know that we are all sinners.  We go through life trying to make ourselves better.  Lent is supposed to be one long retreat in which we examine our life and try to figure out how to do it better.  Even if we are devout and mostly get it right – we trip up now and then.  There are things we need to fix.  Even the saints recognized their own failings and resolved to do better as life went on.

It is a grave misjudgment to be like the Pharisees – thinking ourselves to be better than the rest.  Christ calls all of us to repentence.  None of us are “the righteous” – we are all sinners.  And if St. Matthew – the lowest of the low – can answer the call to follow Christ – so can we.

This Lent, let us answer the call to come to Christ’s table of mercy and forgiveness – regardless of how well we think we are living our lives.

Orphans & The Face of Christ

theophilus February 8th, 2008

I sat with my little girl last night talking about the things she has in her life that too many others may not – food, house, toys, clothes, the basics.

As I was getting ready this morning, I realized that I really didn’t discuss with her the most important thing she has that many other children do not – a family.  There are millions – yes, MILLIONS - of children throughout the world who do not have parents – who are orphans, including too many right here in the U.S.

This issue is personal to me – I was an orphan until I was adopted as an older child.  I was lucky – I was adopted by a great family who enabled me to get on the path to life success.

But, today is a good day to think about and pray for the millions of children who aren’t as lucky as I was/am.  They are the orphans of the world left without parents because of disease, war, violence, poverty.  They are the orphans who have no reliable place to lay their heads.  They either live on the street or shuttle from house to house.  They are the orphans who live in orphanages, group homes, or with whomever will take them in.  They are the orphans who are thrust into unspeakable lifestyles and victimized by predatory and depraved adults.

Today is a good day to think about and pray for the orphans of our world because today the Church commemorates the life of St. Jerome Emiliani.  He lived in the 15th and 16th Century in Venice.  He was a wayward soldier who was captured and imprisoned for a period of time.  While in prison, Christ got to work on him.  He learned how to pray and started listening to God.  After escaping from prison, he started his life as a new man.  He dedicated himself to helping the orphaned and abandoned children of Venice, founding orphanages, a home for prostitutes, and a hospital.  He founded an order dedicated to the education of orphans.  He died caring for the sick. 

St. Jerome is the patron saint of orphans and abandoned children.  He is the patron saint for all of the millions of children without parents, without families.  He is the patron saint of all of those orphans whom God has eventually blessed with families – because we never really forget, we are always mindful of how blessed we are.

And the orphans are not just in the Third World and other far-away places.  They are right here in the U.S.   We may have shut all of the orphanages, but we still have orphans.  Look around at your world today.  They are all around us.  They are called “social orphans.”

Look at the foster care system where we have children not living with their parents.  Look in our schools, where too many kids had to find a place to lay their heads last night because their parent(s) couldn’t or wouldn’t take them in.

But, there are also many other orphans who we don’t really consider orphans.  They have families but don’t have the benefit of the full devotion of both parents.  A child needs both a mom and a dad, yet too many families are divorced, leaving one parent partially or totally out of a child’s life.  Children need their parents present in their lives, yet too many moms and dads work too hard and spend too much time away from home that their children are essentially growing up without one or both parents. 

What are the solutions?  Love your children – be a constructive and physical presence in their lives – make your marriage work, no matter how hard it is to do so – help those kids in your community who don’t have a reliable place to lay their head – look at taking in a foster child – look at adopting a child, whether from the U.S. or abroad – support organizations that are dedicated to caring for orphans – pray for all of these kids, because they need to see Christ’s face.

Orphans are mentioned numerous times in the Bible, especially in the Gospels.  Us orphans have a special place in Jesus’ heart.  Looking back, I can tell you the times that Christ and our Blessed Mother were especially present during those years - watching over me, protecting me, comforting me, consoling me, healing me.  They appeared through the faces of all of the incredible people who helped me – my foster families, nuns, doctors, teachers, counselors, social workers, and ultimately, my Mom & Dad.

I know how lucky I am and I want all children to experience the love of a family – the love of God.  I want them to see the face of Christ as I did and still do.

So ask yourself, what will you do to help make this happen?  What will you do to be the face of Christ to the orphans who deserve a better life?

Running Things By God

theophilus February 7th, 2008

I always seem to make decisions – major and minor – that influence the course of my life – and then I realize I really didn’t talk it out with God.  I relied on my own counsel.

Sometimes I get it right – sometimes I get it wrong.  Sometimes, I realize that God was leading me to the choice I made even if I didn’t talk to him about it.  Sometimes, I realize that God was leading me away from the choice I made and I ignored him.

And, I hate when I make decisions this way – without God.

The opening prayer to today’s Mass is -

“Lord, may everything we do begin with your inspiration, continue with your help, and reach perfection under your guidance.”

This prayer is the essence of living our lives in tune with God. 

When we plan our day, do we include God in the planning?  When we make a major purchase, do we ask God for guidance?  When we make a job change, do we talk it out with God?  When we make decisions concerning our kids, like where they are to go to school, do we ask God what he wants?  When we start a new hobby, venture or pursuit, do we ask God if this is how he wants us to spend our time?  When we join a new group or undertake a new obligation, do we ask God if this fits into his plan for us?  When we decide to go on a trip or how to spend our free time, do we run it by God first?

If we talk to God before we make these decisions, he will send the Holy Spirit to guide us.  He will let us know how he wants us to spend the time and the resources he has given us.  He will let us know his plan for us, bit-by-bit. 

We just need to remember that every moment of every day is given to us by him.  That is why EVERYTHING we do must begin with his inspiration and continue with his help.  If we live our lives his way, everything we do will reach perfection under his guidance.

Lent is a great time to start talking to God regularly about the choices we want to/need to make and let him guide us along his path for us.

What’s Our Plan?

theophilus February 6th, 2008

Ash Wednesday is the last chance to develop our Lenten Plan.  So do we have a plan?

For me, Lent is a time to try to repent, reflect, purify and renew.  Like others I make a plan.  And like others, I usually end up deviating from the plan or forgetting about it altogether.

This year, I resolve to do differently.  I have my plan and I intend to keep it.  It’s nothing too ambitious.  It’s a modest plan that will still bring me closer to Christ and help me live a better life.

So, I challenge you to develop your own plan (if you haven’t done so already).  Focus on the Lenten areas of charity, penance and prayer.  Have a plan that has enough meat in it (pardon the pun) to make you a better Christian but is also modest enough that you can keep the plan for the next forty days.

Try to find an area of your life that needs to be improved, eliminated or changed.  Read something new and different.  Give of your time and money.  Intensify your prayer life.  Just simply be a better person.  Go to confession.  Fast today and on Good Friday, and abstain on the other Fridays, not because you feel you have to, but because you want to do so in order to purify your soul and show God that you are truly sorry for the times you have gone astray.

Lent doesn’t have to be hard.  In fact, it can be a time of joy – if we take this time as a way to grow closer to our Lord. 

But it all starts with a plan.  Do you have your’s?

Waiting is the Hardest Part

theophilus February 2nd, 2008

What would you do if you had to wait your entire life to accomplish something?  Would you?

Today is the Feast of the Presentation of our Lord – when he is taken as an infant to the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem to be presented as the first-born and consecrated to God.  Waiting there is Simeon, who had been promised by the Holy Spirit that he would not die until he gazes upon the Savior.  St. Joseph and Mary carry Jesus into the temple and Simeon is able to hold the Messiah – the culmination of his life.

Would we be as patient?  We are an inpatient society – we want everything right now.  We don’t want to wait – immediate self-gratification is the name of the game.

But, I wonder what it is that God is expecting us to be patient with him.  That great things will happen if we just give him the time and the patience required for his will to play out.

Every great thing that has occured in history has been the result of a long period of hard work – the end of slavery, a woman’s right to vote, American Indepedence, getting my wife to marry me.  None of these events could have happened without a lot of hard work and patience.

I think we need to do a better job of realizing that there are going to be a lot of things in our lives that require a long period of hard work for us to be successful and for God to reveal to us his will – our families, education, careers, communities, nation.  We can’t expect everything to happen right here, right now.

Simeon understood patience.  He waited and waited and waited – and never gave up hope that God’s promise to him would  be true.  And he was rewarded in a big way.

May we have the same patience in our lives.

Tragic Consequences

theophilus February 1st, 2008

A couple of weeks ago, a family tragedy of biblical proportions hit Cincinnnati.  A mother and her four children (all under the age of 8 years old) were killed.  The husband/father is in jail for their murder.

This family was a Catholic family living an upper-middle class life in an affluent suburban community.

These are the facts as they have come out. 

The husband/father was a contract engineer who traveled often.  He was usually on the road about 250 days a year.  Their marriage was strained.  Money may have been getting tight.  He started having an affair with a woman from out-of-town.  When he came home from a trip, she confronted him with a $2,000 charge on his credit card from a jewelry store.  He may have told her he was having an affair and that the charge was for a ring for his girlfriend.  He then told her he was leaving her and went upstairs to pack.  The kids had been put to bed and were sound asleep.  She came upstairs -armed with a frying pan and a kitchen knife.  They struggled.  Both ended up getting stabbed – her wounds were fatal.  A fire was started and he has told conflicting stories on who set it.  After his arrest, he indicated he started the fire.  This week, his story has changed and now it’s she who started the fire.  In any case, he either tried to get the kids out or he didn’t try – and proceeded to jump out the 2nd floor window to the front yard.  The kids died in the fire.

As I said before, a tragedy of biblical proportions – and no one that has been interviewed saw it coming.

I’m writing about this story because of today’s first reading from 2 Samuel 11.  King David sees Bathsheba – falls for her – has her come to the palace where they have sex – even though she is married to Uriah, one of his soldiers who is away on a military campaign.  Bathsheba becomes pregnant by King David – he calls Uriah back from the front and tries to get him to have sex with his wife.  Uriah refuses out of respect for his brothers in the field.  David then returns Uriah to his unit and orders Joab, his general, to place him in the most dangerous position on the front lines.  Uriah is killed in action.  David brings Bathsheba into the palace and makes her one of his wives (remember, David was permitted to have several wives).  Their child ends up dying in infancy.  The consequences don’t stop there as David’s children would become very rebellious and engage in a great deal of infighting.  David’s oldest son, Absalom, would actually lead a revolt and challenge his father for the throne – only to be killed.  

Both King David’s story and our modern counterpart have one glaring similiarity – the incredibly bad choices and misguided priorities of the men involved.  King David was driven by lust, committed adultery and facilitated a murder.  His actions resulted in death, discord and suffering.  Our modern David was driven by lust and greed.  He committed adultery and was responsible in one way or another for the deaths of his wife and children.  Like David, his actions resulted in death, discord and suffering.

Our modern David somehow got hopelessly lost.  I would hope that all family men could agree on something – it is not ok to be away from home 8 months out of the year – it is not ok to have an affair – it is not ok to neglect our wives and our children (and we are neglecting them if we are on the road all of the time).  It is not ok to create such a mess in our lives that self-made tragedies can take root. 

I’m not going to judge our modern David just as I wouldn’t want to judge King David – that’s Christ’s work to do.  But we can only pray that God calls our modern David to still bear fruit in this life.  He does have an example to follow - remember, Bathsheba did end up bearing Solomon as David’s heir.  And, Christ was born from David’s line.

But for now, we need to make sure our priorities are straight and that we are being the best family men that we can possibly be – that we are walking with Christ and serving him well in our roles as fathers and husbands.  Our modern David lost sight of his priorities – let’s make sure we never do – and that if we do, God saves us from the tragedy that can follow so many consistently bad choices.

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