Mar

28

What Does She See In Me?

March 28, 2008 |

Sometimes I wonder what my daughter sees in me. 

I stole away from work yesterday for an hour or so to go watch my little girl do her gymnastics and my little boy play basketball - which are their activities this season.  We’ve been trying to get them to try different things - to see where they have the most fun.  We found a place that has a lot of different activities so both my son and daughter can do things at the same time.

In any case, when I popped in on my son, he was having fun.  When he saw me, he smiled at me and went right on having his fun. 

When I popped in on my daughter - it was a slightly different story.  She was doing everything she was supposed to, but she she was pretty much just going through the motions. 

Then she saw me.  She waved, her mood changed, she started doing everything with purpose, she started doing everything exactly the way she was supposed to do it.  I popped back in on my son finishing up his basketball lesson, when my daughter came running in jumping into my arms.

I knew I had made a difference in her day by being there.

And I find I do make a difference in her life and this “difference” is taking on many different forms.  I’ve been finding that she is getting up earlier and earlier so she can spend time with me before I go to the office.  At night, I’m the one she wants to cuddle with as we watch TV.  I’m the one she wants to read to her.  She insists on her monthly ”Daddy” dates.  And most importantly, I’m the one she wants to pray with her.  I was amazed when she was dressed and ready last Thursday to go with me to Holy Thursday Mass.  She was dressed and ready the next night to go with me to Good Friday Mass.

In other words, she is following me - she is connecting with me.  And all of these things she does with me seem to be initiated by her.

And I don’t understand it.  My son, I get.  He sees me and there’s an automatic connection.  According to my wife, he’s either a little version of me or I’m a big version of him.

But, my daughter - I sometimes find it hard to imagine how she sees me - what she sees in me.  I make so many mistakes with her.  Understanding the female mind has never been one of my strong suits.  And to make matters more difficult, my daughter is a little version of my wife - strong-willed, brilliant, self-confident, creative, beautiful, incredible in so many ways.  But sometimes it takes a man with a well-honed sense of empathy to stay on the same page with them - and I’ve never been especially known for my empathetic abilities.

And I guess I’m slowly learning that what she wants from me is to spend time with me.  Despite my mistakes with her, she wants to learn from me, talk to me, have me focused just on her for a period of time.  I may be imperfect - especially when it comes to her - but I’m still the most important man in her life.

And if I do it right, I will be the one she will measure every other man against.  And maybe that’s the most important gift we can offer our daughters - to exhibit such exemplary qualities that she will expect the same of the men she dates and the man she will ultimately marry.  And to help build her self-esteem so she will believe that she deserves such a man.

It’s a heavy responsibility - but it’s as important as the responsibility we have to make our sons into quality men.

We may make mistake after mistake with our daughters - but they seem to understand already that we’re just men.  We may screw up but we mean well.  And they can be especially forgiving.

We may never truly understand them, but we will make all the difference in the world if we just spend time with them and connect with them - if we just love them with every fiber of our being and be grateful to God that He has put her into our life.


Comments

Name (required)

Email (required)

Website

Speak your mind