Jun
18
Falling & Staying Away
June 18, 2008 |
I had an interesting conversation with a friend of mine last night. He lives in a different town so we get together about once a year and talk about once a month.
He is a cradle Catholic who left the cocoon a long time ago. I’ve never gotten the feeling that spirituality plays any part in his life.
Last night, we were talking about his recent medical problems, his upcoming fatherhood, and the difficulties with his business; some pretty hefty challenges in his life that he is trying to handle without any divine assistance.
We then moved onto my life and how hectic it’s been lately. He queried as to how I ever got some peace and quiet.
I mentioned that the only solitude I could count on during the day came from the 10 or so minutes I try to spend in church; just me and Christ together in the silence.
And he went “oh” and moved the conversation on. “OH?” I wish I could have reached through the phone and smacked him across the head, because he totally missed (or ignored) the bait. I wish I had the gumption to let him have it - “NUMSKULL, CHRIST WILL HELP YOU DEAL WITH YOUR PROBLEMS - JUST COME BACK AND LET HIM HELP YOU!”
I have another friend. His business is also having difficulties and his children are a challenge. I know that these things are weighing on him. Again, a cradle Catholic who left the cocoon a long time ago. Again, someone who won’t return and is facing his challenges alone.
I just don’t understand where we as the Church could have gone so wrong that those raised in the faith will not or cannot give the Church another chance, especially when they are trying so hard to face life’s immense difficulties alone. I am talking about good, decent men here. Men who I am proud to call friends.
The thing is, I do drop remarks to them that my faith and my devotion to Christ is what gets me through some of the same type of challenges that they are facing. But, it’s too no avail. They just say “oh.”
I wish I could impress upon them that Christ does not leave us alone. He is always there for us. But, we must recognize, acknowledge and accept his presence in our lives. No matter what we are going through, we can turn to him, our Mother, and his saints and angels and they will help us.
We cannot go it alone. As cradle Catholics, my two friends should know better. And it’s frustrating to me that I can’t seem to find the way to bring them back.
Comments
2 Comments so far
It is true what you say about those who have fallen out of communion with God and struggle to go it alone. Of course, contrary to our current cultural beliefs, total independence from God does not make you strong. It in fact has the opposite effect and leaves us weaker in the face of so many forces working against us in our race.
It is a tragedy that I think all catholics are familiar with and in the end our prayers may be the most effective means for us to help them come home. Thanks for the Post!
Well, I wish had more time right now, but here’s the quick version: You’re a better friend than many because at least you’ve dropped remarks to them.
I think that if these men really are good friends, then you could just go for the direct approach - since they’re not biting the hints so far. Think of it this way - do you really want to get to heaven and find that they didn’t make it? OK, that’s my hard sell.
The soft sell is that you really couldn’t hurt anything. Just be honest. Say that you really feel for them in their hard times, and that you wish you could make it better, but the way you understand it, sometimes God lets us go through these times for a reason. It’s possible that by opening the subject he will realize some fact relevant toward improvement. Maybe he’s mad at God, and you can let him know that’s normal. Or maybe he thinks God is mad at him or abandoned him. At least it might show that he’s not totally separated from God. Offer that you can’t make it better, but you will check in with him again.
Pray to the Holy Spirit to put the right words into your mouth. In your frustration, remember that it’s not our job to convert anyone. That’s the Holy Spirit’s job. We’re just there to say whatever He wants to communicate. We’re there to plant a seed. And if you feel like you botched it, that’s still OK. It gives you a chance to call back and admit that you botched it, apologize for being incompetent, and do that check-in that you offered. There’s no need to keep talking God if he’s not biting. You’ve planted the seed, and you can wait a while before asking again. Meanwhile, you are a connection between God and this person. You are Christ’s body here on earth, right?
I found an interesting booklet the other day: One Catholic to Another, by Peter Kreeft. It’s set up as a conversation between an active Catholic and a fallen away Catholic friend. It might give you a couple of ideas to say.
There’s also Search and Rescue by Patrick Madrid.
May God be with you in your mission.