Holding Hands with Grandma
theophilus June 23rd, 2008
My grandma broke her hip late last week. On Friday, they went in, operated on the hip, and put a steel rod in her thigh. She came through the surgery well-enough but started to experience renal failure over the weekend. In other words, she isn’t knocking on death’s door as of yet, but she is in really bad shape.
I went to visit her this morning on my way back to the office from a meeting. I expected to stay a few minutes. I ended up staying an hour; and I probably didn’t say more than ten sentences to her, even though it was just the two of us.
She was just in pain; in that complete human misery that is forever etched into your soul upon witnessing it. The nurse had just given her pain medication and Grandma couldn’t feel any effect from it. At one point, she cried out to me, “my life is over.”
I knew she didn’t want to talk to me; she wasn’t going to be able to clue into anything I was saying; the pain and despair were that intense. So, all I could do was just pray over her and hold her hand, stroking it. I put my chaplet rosary in her hand and she clutched it with that strength of will that I grew up admiring.
I told her it was ok to cry in front of me. I reminded her of my own hip surgery when I was a teenager (they took a piece of my hip and wired it into my cheek to help build up the deformed side of my face). I still remember that pain; it was that intense; and it seemed to last forever. It clouded out anything and everything; it consumed me, heart, body and soul.
I told her that she couldn’t fight the pain; she just had to ride out each wave. I told her to say a “Hail Mary” each time the pain came. That Mary was there with her; comforting her.
And I just continued to hold her hand.
After about an hour, I had to go. I reached for my chaplet and realized she was clutching it as if she was holding onto Mary herself (and she probably was). I decided she was going to make better use of it than I could today.
Grandma is a remarkable woman who has led a great life. If it’s time for her to go home, it’s time for her to go. But, somehow I think she has some fight left in her; and God is going to stretch out her days in this temporal world.
So, chances are, this morning won’t be the last time I see her. But, it may be one of the last times it will be just her and me alone; just grandma and grandson, showing their love for each other; a love that doesn’t get any more simple or pure.
And that’s why one day I know that I will be oh so grateful for this moment; just holding hands with my grandma and showing her how much I love her.
