A Knight's Walk in the Kingdom

theophilus September 7th, 2008

I am a political junkie; have been since I was a little kid.  I also happen to love the Olympics.  Oh, and I decided to join a fantasy football league this year and coach my son’s fall t-ball team.

I’ve had a busy last few weeks, especially when I add in a hectic time at work, the kids starting back to school, my final preparations for a half-marathon in two weeks, and the varied other things that seem to come up as we all try to cram as much as we can into the end of summer.

Guess what’s missing?

My spiritual life.

I’ve been spiritually dry the past five weeks.  I can’t feel the spirit within me.  I’m finding it hard to pray.  I’m making some bad choices.  I’m letting anxiety and fear creep into the inner recesses of my psyche where they can do the most damage.

I’m feeling separated from God, from Christ, from Mary.

And, it’s my fault for letting everything else interfere with my relationship with the Lord.

I think that God sometimes let’s us allow all of life’s distractions consume us, so that we come to realize that these distractions mean nothing if we do not continue to have our daily conversation with him; if we do not use these pursuits to bring us closer to him.  These pursuits mean nothing if they are not done for him, by him and through him.  He wants us to enjoy life, but we can’t separate the joys of life from him.   He is the source and the creator of these joys and intends for them to bring us closer to him, not distract us from him.

So, last night, I went to bed early after praying Evening Prayer (from the Liturgy of the Hours) and the Mass readings from Saturday.  I read a couple of devotionals.  This morning, I awoke early and prayed the Office of Readings and Morning Prayer and read today’s Mass readings.  I’ve sat in the silence of my home and felt for the Holy Spirit.  I’ve tried to feel God within me.  All of which, I’ve been neglecting the past few weeks.

Time to reconnect.  Time to once again remember that my entire and whole life needs to be rooted in Christ.

• Culture , Prayer
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theophilus September 3rd, 2008

As a father, I am very afraid for my children as I watch the Bristol Palin story unfold.

The way this story is being covered is sickening; and should send a shiver down the spine of every father in this nation.

There is a large segment of our society that will use, exploit and destroy children just to achieve their political ends.  This segment has declared open season on a 17-year old and are seeking to tear her down on a global scale because her mother has had the audacity to step forward to run for national office and because they are in violent disagreement with her mother’s political views.

No other child of a political candidate or elected official has been subjected to this vile – no matter their behavior.  Yet, each and every day, we seem to be sinking lower into the slime as the Bristol Palin saga goes on.

Our children need our protection.  They do not need to see their teenage miscues played out in three (yes, THREE) stories on the front page of the New York Times (in one day).  They do not need to see their name besmirched on TVs throughout the world.  And the only reason Bristol Palin is being subjected to this trial is because too many people want to use her for crass, partisan political gain.

No matter our political views, we have to stand up and put an end to this destruction.  As fathers, we must stand up and stare down those that would use our children in such an inhumane way.

Bristol Palin could be our daughter.  Let’s consider whether we would want our daughter treated in such a way.

• Catholic Dads , Culture , Family
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theophilus September 1st, 2008

I was born a bastard son; illegitimate; unplanned; with birth defects to boot.  In some people’s view, I was a child who was better off going straight from my mother’s womb to my heavenly reward because I was a “punishment” or an “inconvenience” to my mother.

So as an illegitimate child, I’ve been thinking a lot today about Bristol Palin, the 17-year old, pregnant daughter of Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

I’ve been thinking about her because I am always worried about my children making bad choices.  My wife and I talk to them unceasingly about the necessity of making the right choice, every time. 

And tonight, I talked to them about a 17-year old who is sitting in bed tonight with her precious, beautiful child growing inside of her; a 17-year old who knows that the whole world knows that she is a pregnant teen; a 17-year old who is being googled and written about and talked about in forums large and small.  And not only is she faced with this reality, but she is faced with the knowledge that she and her mother are being maliciously cast throughout the global blogosphere in a scene straight out of last season’s Desperate Housewives. 

I hurt for her as a father would his daughter.  I hurt for her as the illegitimate son of a wonderful woman who found herself in the same, if less public, predicament.

And I am thankful.  I am thankful every day that my mother chose my life.  I am thankful that Bristol, with the support of her fiance and family, has chosen her child’s life.

The title to this blog is “An Unanswered Question.”  So, what question of mine is unanswered?  It is this: I was a mistake, but I’m here.  Despite the immorality and promiscuity that led to my creation, God has intended for my life to happen; to play out; to lead to results good and bad; to create new, incredible life; to impact others with a great love; and to be the face of Christ and help build his kingdom.  As St. Paul preached, I was predestined from the beginning of time.

So, should Bristol and her fiance have been having sex?  My answer is “no.”  They weren’t, aren’t ready; emotionally, spiritually.  Should my birth parents had been having sex?  No.  But my parents did; and I am here; and I believe God intended for my life to happen, at this moment, at this time.  And Bristol and her fiance did have sex; and they have a child about to enter this world in four months; and this child will be God’s child, Mary’s child; a child whose life God intended to happen.

So, I am confused and conflicted with a question that I know only God can answer when he is ready to answer it.  Why am I here; why am I (hopefully) sanctifying my life for the glory and purpose of God, considering that the behavior that led to my creation should have never occurred?

• Culture , Family , God's Call , Gratitude
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