A Knight's Walk in the Kingdom

theophilus March 4th, 2009

I was cooking dinner last night and my first grade daughter was helping me.

We were talking about her day when she told me that she was excited that there were only 34 days until Easter.  I asked her how she came to that conclusion.  She said there are 40 days in Lent and we were on the sixth day, so there had to be 34 days left.

I then went into an lengthy explanation about how there are different views on the actual length of Lent.  She then asked me how I measured Lent.  I told her from Ash Wednesday to Holy Thursday, which would make Lent actually 42 or 43 days long.

She looked at me with a quizzical look on her face, so I told her that it didn’t matter the actual length of Lent; what mattered was that we refer to the 40 days of Lent so we use the season the way Jesus used his 40 days in the desert.

At this point, her quizzed look turned to one of enlightenment; and she replied, “maybe, the extra days of Lent are the ones Jesus used to travel back and forth to the desert.”

All I could think was that I bet no one has really made this observation; and that she may just be right.

A little gem from the mind of a child.

We should be more like little children.  We might actually start seeing some new perspectives on our faith.

• Catholic Dads , Family , Jesus
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theophilus December 19th, 2008

Last month, I ran across a thing in a catalog promoting something with a series of Bible references on it.  They were “House Rules” – a series of 12 maxims from the Bible on how a house and family should be run.  I didn’t want to buy it but I liked the “Rules;” so I typed them up, printed them out, and put them on our fridge.

And didn’t give them a second thought.

I found out tonight that my kids have read them.  Tonight, my little girl “promised” her little brother that he could stay up past their bedtime to watch a movie.  When my wife heard this, she marched upstairs to inform both of them that it was time for bed.  It was at this point that my little girl quoted one of the rules from Romans 4 and asserted that we should “keep our promises,” (Maxim #7).  She had promised her brother that he could watch the movie and therefore she had to keep her promise.

My wife then found me and told me it was all mine.

I quickly grabbed my Bible for some context.  Sure enough, the pertinent verse of Romans 4 reads “[n]o distrust made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.”

I felt like I was on a cross-examination.  I explained to her that she did not have the authority to give this promise and therefore we were not bound to the promise.  I counseled her that she should only make promises that she could keep; that she should ensure that she “was able to do what [s]he had promised.”

They appeared to understand.  The TV is off; my son is in his bed; my daughter is warming to the idea of sleep.

So, what have I learned tonight?  #1, my kids are paying attention to me; #2, I better have my Bible at hand when I throw scripture at them because, odds are, they are going to challenge me; #3, Mary and Joseph are laughing their butts off, because if Jesus was even close to being a normal child, he challenged them like every other child; both surprisingly and exasperatingly.

But for now, I take comfort that my little girl was challenging me with the Word of God and not something she read in People or something she heard on TV.  I look forward to more of these conversations; as long as I’m adequately prepared.

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theophilus September 19th, 2008

I ended up lecturing my best friend today.  I didn’t mean to; it just came out that way.

The topic was daughters.

Mine is in first grade and growing up way too fast.  His is about to be born (his first child).

Somehow we had been on the subject of getting teenagers to wait to have sex.  He started talking about “THE TALK” he plans to have with his in utero little girl, twelve or thirteen or fourteen years from now. 

It was at this point that I jumped in.

I told him that his “talk” began as soon as his baby girl leaves the security of his wife’s womb.  His “talk” begins in how he treats his daughter; what kind of bond he builds with her; how he treats his wife; what kind of role model he exhibits.

I am fully aware that my little girl will base every relationship she has with other men/boys on her relationship with me and my relationship with her mother.  I am her role model on how a man treats a woman.

I want to get to a point with her where her self-esteem is sky-high when she is around other boys/men; that she knows enough to respect herself as a daughter of God and her body as a divine gift; that she is mindful enough to respect other boys/men as sons of God, even when they do not share the same respect for themselves; that she knows and has had fully demonstrated to her each and every day that the only true, mature, intimate, divine relationship between a man and a woman takes place within a marriage covenant blessed and called by God.

I have to answer to God at some point in time for my daughter.  If she turns out to be anything less than what God intends, I’m going to have some explaning to do.

I’ve given a lot of thought to my responsibility to my daughter.  I guess I wanted to let my friend in on what he is getting himself into.  He’s a good man; I know he’s going to do a good job.  But a good job isn’t good enough in today’s world.  It takes an effort worthy of the saints.  We are all up to it; but we have to want to do it, each and every day.

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theophilus September 3rd, 2008

As a father, I am very afraid for my children as I watch the Bristol Palin story unfold.

The way this story is being covered is sickening; and should send a shiver down the spine of every father in this nation.

There is a large segment of our society that will use, exploit and destroy children just to achieve their political ends.  This segment has declared open season on a 17-year old and are seeking to tear her down on a global scale because her mother has had the audacity to step forward to run for national office and because they are in violent disagreement with her mother’s political views.

No other child of a political candidate or elected official has been subjected to this vile – no matter their behavior.  Yet, each and every day, we seem to be sinking lower into the slime as the Bristol Palin saga goes on.

Our children need our protection.  They do not need to see their teenage miscues played out in three (yes, THREE) stories on the front page of the New York Times (in one day).  They do not need to see their name besmirched on TVs throughout the world.  And the only reason Bristol Palin is being subjected to this trial is because too many people want to use her for crass, partisan political gain.

No matter our political views, we have to stand up and put an end to this destruction.  As fathers, we must stand up and stare down those that would use our children in such an inhumane way.

Bristol Palin could be our daughter.  Let’s consider whether we would want our daughter treated in such a way.

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theophilus August 25th, 2008

How responsible are we for other kids?

I ask the question because of the small creek behind my yard.  Flowing into this creek is a a culvert with a big enough hole for a kid to get into trouble.  The creek tends to fill up in heavy rains.  It’s a real enough danger (at least to me) that I have put the fear of God into my kids to keep them from playing in the creek and culvert.

I’ve gone over periodically to scare off other kids I’ve seen down there in the past.  Tonight, they were down there again and the gaggle seems to be getting bigger and bigger.  I went over and “convinced” them to move on – a command that they followed.  But twenty minutes later, they were back.  I watched them for about ten minutes and decided to go “relax” on my back porch.  Within two minutes, they were gone.

So, am I am being an old man who is trying to prevent kids from having fun or am I a concerned father who doesn’t want other kids getting into the trouble I work so hard to prevent for my own children?  To what extent are they my concern?

Of course, I ask this last question rhetorically, because I believe Christ asks each of us to watch out for each other.  But, I do wonder if I’m going overboard in this commission and whether it’s worth the effort (because I guarantee they’ll be back in the creek tomorrow).

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theophilus April 30th, 2008

I’m watching Extra last night and the story about Miley Cyrus and her Vanity Fair photo shoot came on.  I heard about the story earlier in the day.  Being the father of a kindergarten girl who idolizes Miley/Hannah, I went on the Vanity Fair website to read the story and see the photos in question.

Wow, I have to admit I was deflated by what I saw.  Not only were some of the photos with just her questionable, but so too were the ones with her and her dad.  What horrible judgement by Billy Ray.  When I got home, my wife and I asked our daughter if she saw the photos.  She said that she had seen them on Good Morning America (so much for letting her watch a news program).  We quickly had a little talk with her – a learning moment.

But, why are we surprised about the photos?  The stories on Extra following the Mylie Cyrus story were about a hot dress that Gywneth Paltrow was wearing, video footage of Britney Spears clad only in a towel at the gym, and how a very pregnant and unwed (but engaged) Jessica Alba is guest starring with Elmo.

We have sexualized our society to such a degree that we really shouldn’t be shocked when things like these photos come out.  The good news is that people seem to be drawing a line - enough people appear to be genuinely upset about the photos.  But too much of the story is about whether Mylie is jeopardizing her billion dollar machine – not whether she is jeopardizing her childhood.

For her sake, I hope this story gets off the front page quickly.  I hope she and her parents have learned a lesson and her parents protect her with every fiber of their being.  I hope they realize that something that starts innocently enough can escalate into something salacious without them realizing it.  I hope Miley doesn’t try to grow up too fast.  I hope the photographer and the folks at the magazine – all of whom knew what they were doing – think twice before again exploiting a teenager.  I hope people don’t rush out to buy this garbage.

And I hope my daughter and her peers realize that growing up too fast is just not the way to go. 

But even if Miley stays away from any more questionable photography sessions, our girls are still going to have to deal with a highly sexualized society that too often fails to draw the line in the messages we send those who don’t know better.

In the meantime, I’m going to go and find some books about female saints for my little girl to read.

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