Archive for the 'Family' Category

Catholic Catechism & Abortion

theophilus October 15th, 2009

There is always a great deal of attention paid when the Church, specifically through our bishops, speak out against abortion.  It gets especially interesting when the Church tries to instruct those Catholics who support abortion, either directly or indirectly.

What is generally lost in this debate is a discussion as to why the Church teaches what it teaches on abortion.  Why does the Church stand so strongly on the side of the unborn?  Why must anti-right-to-life Catholics understand that their action or inaction not only contravenes a major tenet of our faith but subverts the foundation of the dignity of man?

I rarely read the Catechism – should read it more, but I don’t.  The other day was the exception.  I happened to pick it up and came across the section on abortion.  I wish I would have read this stuff earlier because the Catechism makes the abortion decision pretty cut and dry.

In paragraph 2270, we hear that-

Human life must be respected and protected absolutely from the moment of conception. From the first moment of his existence, a human being must be recognized as having the rights of a person – among which is the inviolable right of every innocent being to life.

To support this proposition, the Catechism quotes from Jeremiah 1:5-

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you.

And from Psalm 139:15-

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately wrought in the depths of the earth.

There is no wiggle room here for any argument that suggests that the unborn child at any stage is anything less than a human being worthy of protection.  God knew us before he formed us; he started his relationship with us before he even made us as man; we were his children from the get-go.

How about those arguments that the Church has only recently came around to a pro-life position?  Paragraph 2271 answers this question-

Since the first century the Church has affirmed the moral evil of every procured abortion. This teaching has not changed and remains unchangeable. Direct abortion, that is to say, abortion willed either as an end or a means, is gravely contrary to the moral law.

Take a look at this passage from the Didache, one of the earliest writings of the Church, which the Catechism quotes-

You shall not kill the embryo by abortion and shall not cause the newborn to perish.

As for the present, the Church can’t get any stronger than this statement from Guadium et spes-

God, the Lord of life, has entrusted to men the noble mission of safeguarding life, and men must carry it out in a manner worthy of themselves. Life must be protected with the utmost care from the moment of conception: abortion and infanticide are abominable crimes.

The Church has always officially been against abortion and cannot be much clearer or stronger in its views today – did you see the word “abominable” – sounds real weak-kneed to me.

How serious is abortion?  Is it just another social issue to consider?  Look at paragraph 2272-

Formal cooperation in an abortion constitutes a grave offense. The Church attaches the canonical penalty of excommunication to this crime against human life. “A person who procures a completed abortion incurs excommunication latae sententiae,” “by the very commission of the offense,” (Codex Iuris Canonici) and subject to the conditions provided by Canon Law.

Another one of those wishy-washy words – “excommunication.”

But paragraph 2272 doesn’t stop with the punishment-

The Church does not thereby intend to restrict the scope of mercy. Rather, she makes clear the gravity of the crime committed, the irreparable harm done to the innocent who is put to death, as well as to the parents and the whole of society.

This teaching is all about mercy and redemption for those involved in abortion; that no matter the offense, Christ will still love and forgive us.  Like every other offense against God and man, we can seek and find salvation.  And by extension, every one of us is called to pray for, love and forgive each person involved with abortion.

Paragraph 2272 also talks about the harm done to the parents and society.  Not only does the unborn child suffer, but so do the mother, the father and society as a whole.  Abortion impacts all of us.

Paragraph 2273 goes further and talks about the role of abortion in society and how life is an inalienable right, even for the unborn.  And for those Catholic politicians out there that try to compartmentalize their faith on this issue, the Church gives some instruction-

The inalienable right to life of every innocent human individual is a constitutive element of a civil society and its legislation. (emphasis not added).

The Church provides some passages from Donum Vitae, from the Congregation of the Doctrine of the Faith, to further illustrate this point-

The inalienable rights of the person must be recognized and respected by civil society and the political authority. These human rights depend neither on single individuals nor on parents; nor do they represent a concession made by society and the state; they belong to human nature and are inherent in the person by virtue of the creative act from which the person took his origin. Among such fundamental rights one should mention in this regard every human being’s right to life and physical integrity from the moment of conception until death.

The moment a positive law deprives a category of human beings of the protection which civil legislation ought to accord them, the state is denying the equality of all before the law. When the state does not place its power at the service of the rights of each citizen, and in particular of the more vulnerable, the very foundations of a state based on law are undermined….As a consequence of the respect and protection which must be ensured for the unborn child from the moment of conception, the law must provide appropriate penal sanctions for every deliberate violation of the child’s rights.

In other words, the unborn child deserves the protection of the laws, period.

How about the argument that disabled children should be diagnosed in the womb and aborted for their own sake?

Let’s turn to paragraph 2274-

Since it must be treated from conception as a person, the embryo must be defended in its integrity, cared for, and healed, as far as possible, like any other human being.

Again, we have guidance from Donum vitae-

Prenatal diagnosis is morally licit, “if it respects the life and integrity of the embryo and the human fetus and is directed toward its safe guarding or healing as an individual…. It is gravely opposed to the moral law when this is done with the thought of possibly inducing an abortion, depending upon the results: a diagnosis must not be the equivalent of a death sentence.”

What a great line – “a diagnosis must not be the equivalent of a death sentence.”

Abortion is unacceptable in a civilized society.  In the Catechism, the Church strongly and emphatically lays out the reasons why.  The unborn child is a human being in need of the protection of society.  No legal, political, mental, emotional, logical, or theoretical gymnastics can subvert this fact or the fact the unborn child is as worthy as we are to be treated with simple human dignity.

I need to read more of the Catechism.  I might actually learn something.

My Child’s Perspective on Lent

theophilus March 4th, 2009

I was cooking dinner last night and my first grade daughter was helping me.

We were talking about her day when she told me that she was excited that there were only 34 days until Easter.  I asked her how she came to that conclusion.  She said there are 40 days in Lent and we were on the sixth day, so there had to be 34 days left.

I then went into an lengthy explanation about how there are different views on the actual length of Lent.  She then asked me how I measured Lent.  I told her from Ash Wednesday to Holy Thursday, which would make Lent actually 42 or 43 days long.

She looked at me with a quizzical look on her face, so I told her that it didn’t matter the actual length of Lent; what mattered was that we refer to the 40 days of Lent so we use the season the way Jesus used his 40 days in the desert.

At this point, her quizzed look turned to one of enlightenment; and she replied, “maybe, the extra days of Lent are the ones Jesus used to travel back and forth to the desert.”

All I could think was that I bet no one has really made this observation; and that she may just be right.

A little gem from the mind of a child.

We should be more like little children.  We might actually start seeing some new perspectives on our faith.

“What Then Will This Child Be?”

theophilus December 23rd, 2008

It is the night of December 23rd; and my kids are bouncing off the walls already.

We have deliberately built the tension this Christmas.  Day by day on their Advent calendars; candle by candle on our Advent wreath.  We even kept Jesus out of the family creche; and our kids have noticed.

They can almost feel the toys; guessing which treasures “Santa” is going to bring.  But, they also are well aware that this time of year is about Jesus and his birth.  They know that Santa delivers gifts to little boys and girls because of his love for Jesus.  They know that their family and friends give each other gifts because they love Jesus and each other.

We have tried hard to reinforce these tenets throughout this season.  We have been very blessed by God.  My children get to live a life of which I knew nothing of when I was their age.

I worry constantly that my kids are going to get caught up in the trappings of the temporal world.  It’s a paradox for me.  God has set a plan for me and I’ve worked hard to achieve it.  I know I have not reached as far as he has wanted for me, but I have come a long way; and God has greatly blessed me and my family, both spiritually and materially.

But I’ve known want and need.  I remember Christmases of long ago when I just wanted a family.  The bike that my foster family got me was nice; but I just wanted a place to call home; I wanted a mom & dad.

And, I watch my kids and am so glad that they do not face the loneliness; the spiritual and physical hunger; the pain; the want and need.  I am thankful to God every day that he has blessed me in so many ways and has blessed my children.  But, I don’t want them to feel spiritually self-sufficient; I don’t want them to feel entitled.  I also don’t want them to experience deprivation.

I take comfort in knowing God has his plan for them; the same way he has a plan for me.  So, I take special note of scripture such as today’s Gospel taken from the end of Luke 1, when Zechariah and Elizabeth are naming their son, John the Baptist (although, I think he was just called “John” at the time).

The neighbors just assumed that they would name their baby after his father (”Junior” and “Trey” were common nicknames back then).  So, they were surprised when Elizabeth emphatically stated that his name would be “John” as instructed by St. Gabriel when he broke the news to Zechariah nine months before.

The neighbors then looked to Zechariah for affirmation; but quickly remembered that he had been mute ever since he got back from the temple about the time his wife had gotten miraculously pregnant.  In any case, Zechariah wrote on a tablet that his son’s name would be “John” and, on cue, he began to speak.

The neighbors were astonished and news quickly spread; prompting someone to say and St. Luke to comment, “‘[w]hat, then, will this child be?’  For surely the hand of the Lord was with him.”

And, that’s how I feel about my kids.  What, then, will [these] child[ren] be?  For surely the hand of the Lord [is] with [them].

This Christmas, let us remember that the Lord is with our kids.  He is in their hearts, minds, and souls.  It is evident in their joy, smiles, and squeals.  They know there is something incredible in all of this hoopla.  They can just feel it, sense it, embrace it.  And we must do the same; through them and within ourselves.

God wants us to experience the pure joy of his son’s birth each and every year.  He infects our kids with that joy so that we can be reminded of it and indulge in it.

I went through challenging times those first Christmases without a family.  But God was with me still; I know so because somehow I always had a Christmas.  There was always someone to take me in, and there were always some presents under the family tree for me.

The hand of the Lord was with me; is with me; as surely as it is with my kids.  The hand of the Lord is with you; as surely as it is with your kids.  It is just up to us to make sure that they realize this basic truth; and that we realize it ourselves.

The hand of the Lord is with our kids; the hand of the Lord is with us.  We just need to open ourselves to this divine joy that is God’s Christmas gift to us, each and every year.

Perceptions

theophilus December 14th, 2008

You should have seen me this morning.

We went to Mass last night with my parents at their parish.  But, I wanted my 5-year old to go to his RFY class this morning during 10:00 Mass.

So, as I was tooling around this morning, enjoying an unusual Sunday morning, I remembered that I had to get my son ready to go to church.

And my mind starting cranking.  Well, I better shower.  Do I need to shave?  Do I wear my usual respectful Mass outfit or can I just throw on some jeans?

I decided on the shower, against the shave, and in favor of the jeans.  I got my son dressed and fed, and off we went.

My wife had already called her Mom & Dad who go to the same Mass, and asked if they could pick him up after class.  They agreed (of course).  So, I dropped him off at his class, and sheepishly told his teacher that we had gone to Mass last night and that his grandparents would pick him up after class.  I then hurried back out to my car, drove through the parking lot with my head shrunk below the steering wheel, and snuck out the entrance.

All the while, I was hoping that no one I knew would see me and think I was just dropping my kids off at RFY for babysitting and skipping Mass.

And, who really should care?

I went to Mass; I kept today holy; I cared enough to ensure my son attended RFY and gave his Christmas gifts to his teachers (it’s the last class until after the New Year).  But for all anyone knows, I was a deadbeat Catholic using the Church as babysitting, while I skipped off to a quiet breakfast.

I guess we need to be careful about perceptions.  I was concerned enough about other’s perceptions of me that I went through the motions I went through this morning.  But, ultimately, the only thing that matters is God’s perception of me.  He knows my heart; he knows what I have done; he is my only audience.  Save for the example we must set for each other as the members of the Body of the Church, God is the one we must answer to for our actions.

And maybe, I need to judge other’s less and just focus on what I am giving to Christ.  We can be observant, but we must not be judgmental.

Ah, my little lesson on this blessed Sunday.

Windshield Wipers

theophilus December 10th, 2008

My car is going on five years old.  And I finally broke down and bought a new pair of windshield wipers.  I was still on my first set.

I tend to put things off.  I waited until my windshield was totally obstructed during a rainstorm before I broke down and bought the new wipers.

I had a meeting Downtown today and had to drive home during rush hour.  It’s a dark and rainy night, and I was beginning to let the gloom of the weather and traffic send me over the edge.

And then it dawned on me as I peered through my car window.  I could see!

The car in front of me was clear as day.  No blurs, no streaks, no guessing.  I could see!

I didn’t realize how bad my wipers had gotten until I saw the world through new ones.

There is a lesson here for Advent.  With all of the hoopla surrounding gift buying, company parties, kids events, and classic TV shows, Advent is a time for us to clear away the blurs and streaks in our lives and start seeing the light of Christ.

Light is a major symbol during this time.  it’s the light of the Advent Wreath, the Christmas Tree, the lights in the neighborhood, the glow of the moon off of the newly fallen snow.  It’s the light given off by our children’s eyes, laughter and smiles.  It’s the light of the special cheer shown by even the most ill-tempered of folk.

Advent is like a new pair of wiper blades on a dark, stormy night.  Advent allows us to see clearly.  To see our Eternal Father, Christ, Mary, St. Joseph, and the angels so clearly that we can reach out and touch them.  To see the peace and joy in others.  To feel the peace and joy in ourselves.

And if we are not seeing clearly, then maybe it’s time for a new pair of wiper blades.   Say a prayer, ask for perspective, allow yourself to enjoy this most blessed of seasons.  Decide that you are going to allow yourself to see clearly.  Accept the grace of this gift that God gives us each December.  The gift of the birth of his son, our savior; the gift of the renewal of the hope that is our birthright as His children. 

“Who Are You?”

theophilus December 7th, 2008

I was at a dinner party the other night, and an older gentleman who has been married for a very long time revealed to the table a conversation he had with his wife a few years back.  (His wife was not present at the dinner when he told this story.)

During this conversation from the past, she evidently leaned across the table, looked him in the eye, and inquired of him – “who are you?”.  It was meant as a real question as to who this man had become; this man with whom she shared her life.

The table laughed, some more knowingly than others.  At the table were some who had seen their marriage come and go.  In their eyes, I saw a memory recalled of conversations long ago in which they asked or had asked of them much of the same question.

And I wonder, how many of us should ask this question or have this question asked of us by our spouses?

“Who are we?”

Do we really know the person with whom we share our lives?  Do they know us?  Do we realize that they grow and change, go through trials and tribulations of which we may be unaware, question us, pray for us, marvel at us, love us?

And sometimes, they ask the question of us, “who are you?”

And that is when we need to start worrying.  When we’ve become such an enigma to our spouses that they do not know who we are.

Advent is a time to awaken to Christ.  It is also a time to awaken to who we are, and to who others are, especially those with whom we love and share our lives.  And for our own good, it is time for others to awaken to who we are; good or bad.

And if this awakening is bad, then it is time for us to change.  I assume the older gentleman telling the story the other night changed.  He didn’t like the question from his wife (and probably didn’t like the answer either), and he loved his wife enough to make sure the question was never asked again.

So, what’s the answer if you would ask the question of your spouse tonight?  What is the answer if your spouse would ask the question of you?

“Who are you?”

“Little Churches”

theophilus October 27th, 2008

I often struggle with how to talk to our kids about Christ and our faith in a way that is age-appropriate.  What are they ready for and when are they ready for it?

So, I was intrigued when I read through my “The Word Among Us” issue this month.  TWAU is a good resource for the daily Mass and meditation on the readings.  Each month, they also have a series of articles.  This month’s theme has been “Exploring God’s Plan for Marriage.”  There was one particular article that really caught my eye – “A Little Church: The Great Dignity and Calling of Family Life.”

This article discusses how we can make our families like “a little church;” a term first used by St. John Chrysostom.  How does our families grow closer to Jesus?  How do we grow more holy?  How do we foster Christian formation?

The article reminds us parents that we are “the first preachers to our children.”  That “[y]oung children like to be together as a family” and that “praying together is one vital way to do this.”

To do this teaching, we cannot rely on schools, books, television, the Internet or the news.  No, our kids need ”faith sources.”  We provide these sources by bringing children to Mass; preparing them for the sacraments; and teaching them how to pray, how to get along with others, and how to know right from wrong.

The article asks two questions to determine whether we are building a Christian culture in our homes.  “Is the gospel being presented clearly?” and “How can we help each of our children take up the gospel according to his or her ability?”

And then the article gets to the crux of the “how” to teach our children.  It’s broken down quite nicely.

“You can begin at creation, telling your children that God created everything, and that he made us with a special ability to know him, to trust him, and to make the world a holy place.”

“But our first parents disobeyed God, and in so doing seperated us from God.”

“Still, God loved us so much he sent his Son Jesus to save us from our sins and to bring us back to him.  That is why Jesus died on the cross, and that’s why we worship him and thank him each Sunday.”

“Jesus wants us to live holy and good lives, full of love and kindness.  He gave us the Holy Spirit to help us, and he gave us the Eucharist to feed us spiritually.

“So today and every day, it is our family’s goal to please the Lord and to serve one another.”

“We need to have times when we speak to them about these truths.  We need times when we simply pray with them and show them the value of reconciliation.”

And, the summation of the article is that we need to show love to them and to our spouses; while meditating on Jesus and “falling in love with him.”

The article just has some overall good guidance on how to teach our kids about our faith by word and deed; and how to bring our children closer to Christ as part of our own “little churches.”

Wedding Rings

theophilus September 25th, 2008

I’ve just read my evening political and religious blogs; most full of pessimism and doom; some with a bright ray of hope.

And as I read, I’m looking upon my wife’s rings – her engagement and wedding bands.  She ocassionally takes them off when she’s working on the computer.  As I gaze upon these symbols of my covenants of love for her and my commitment to God to be her life partner, I can’t help but remember the man I was when I gave her those rings.

I was a man of ideals; of lofty political ambition.  I was going to be a great statesman; a transforming figure for my generation.

And now?  Well now, I am a good husband, a good father, providing for my family, contributing to my community.  I sit on local nonprofit boards, coach little league, help out where I can.  I like being home at night, teaching my kids, enjoying my wife’s interests.  At some point in time, I realized that I could either be a good public official, or a good father and husband, but not both; so I chose the latter.

But as I look at my wife’s rings, I remember a time when I served on Capitol Hill and would spend countless evenings staring at the Capitol during a long night’s work, wondering about all of the great, important things in my future that God had in store for me under that Dome, and gazing all around me at those globally important buildings dotting the National Mall (especially the one at the other end of Pennsylvania Avenue).

So now, I’m on the plus side of a decade on that period of my life.  Whereas I was on top of national events, now I’m just along for the ride.  But, I want to be involved; I want to be engaged.

These are historic times; this is an historic election.  The War on Terror, the fight for energy independence, the financial markets meltdown; they will all define our generation. 

But, I know why I’m not in D.C., serving in this most historic of times.  I’m not there because God wants me where I’m at, doing what I’m doing.  And I’m perfectly OK with that.

We all serve a role in life.  Our life experiences are all geared toward a goal divined by God. 

But, at this juncture of our nation’s life, we must pray every day that we have the folks in place who are willing and called to lead; who step forward like King David and are leaders of integrity, steadfastness and action.  We must have leaders with a servant’s heart, who lead from the front and not from the rear.  We must have leaders who place America (and us) first, and their personal, political ambitions second.

We have those leaders ready to go; the question is whether we will see through the BS and allow them to lead us forward.

Judah and Israel were stuck with bad kings.  We do not, and cannot, be stuck with bad political leaders who look down upon us and don’t understand us.  We must ensure that our political leaders are truly one of us.  Because if they are one of us, they’ll get us; and if they get us, they’ll govern as a true servant and not as a know-it-all trying to tell us how to live.

This isn’t a time for “it’s not our fault” or “call me, if you need me” or “we had a bipartisan agreement except the other party really hasn’t signed off on the deal.”

This is a time for real leaders.  God always gives us the leaders we need, when we need them.  Let us pray that we listen and follow them.

The “Shining City on the Hill” or Judah/Israel?  This is our choice; right here, right now.

Bristol Palin & This Father’s Fear

theophilus September 3rd, 2008

As a father, I am very afraid for my children as I watch the Bristol Palin story unfold.

The way this story is being covered is sickening; and should send a shiver down the spine of every father in this nation.

There is a large segment of our society that will use, exploit and destroy children just to achieve their political ends.  This segment has declared open season on a 17-year old and are seeking to tear her down on a global scale because her mother has had the audacity to step forward to run for national office and because they are in violent disagreement with her mother’s political views.

No other child of a political candidate or elected official has been subjected to this vile – no matter their behavior.  Yet, each and every day, we seem to be sinking lower into the slime as the Bristol Palin saga goes on.

Our children need our protection.  They do not need to see their teenage miscues played out in three (yes, THREE) stories on the front page of the New York Times (in one day).  They do not need to see their name besmirched on TVs throughout the world.  And the only reason Bristol Palin is being subjected to this trial is because too many people want to use her for crass, partisan political gain.

No matter our political views, we have to stand up and put an end to this destruction.  As fathers, we must stand up and stare down those that would use our children in such an inhumane way.

Bristol Palin could be our daughter.  Let’s consider whether we would want our daughter treated in such a way.

An Unanswered Question

theophilus September 1st, 2008

I was born a bastard son; illegitimate; unplanned; with birth defects to boot.  In some people’s view, I was a child who was better off going straight from my mother’s womb to my heavenly reward because I was a “punishment” or an “inconvenience” to my mother.

So as an illegitimate child, I’ve been thinking a lot today about Bristol Palin, the 17-year old, pregnant daughter of Vice-Presidential candidate Sarah Palin.

I’ve been thinking about her because I am always worried about my children making bad choices.  My wife and I talk to them unceasingly about the necessity of making the right choice, every time. 

And tonight, I talked to them about a 17-year old who is sitting in bed tonight with her precious, beautiful child growing inside of her; a 17-year old who knows that the whole world knows that she is a pregnant teen; a 17-year old who is being googled and written about and talked about in forums large and small.  And not only is she faced with this reality, but she is faced with the knowledge that she and her mother are being maliciously cast throughout the global blogosphere in a scene straight out of last season’s Desperate Housewives. 

I hurt for her as a father would his daughter.  I hurt for her as the illegitimate son of a wonderful woman who found herself in the same, if less public, predicament.

And I am thankful.  I am thankful every day that my mother chose my life.  I am thankful that Bristol, with the support of her fiance and family, has chosen her child’s life.

The title to this blog is “An Unanswered Question.”  So, what question of mine is unanswered?  It is this: I was a mistake, but I’m here.  Despite the immorality and promiscuity that led to my creation, God has intended for my life to happen; to play out; to lead to results good and bad; to create new, incredible life; to impact others with a great love; and to be the face of Christ and help build his kingdom.  As St. Paul preached, I was predestined from the beginning of time.

So, should Bristol and her fiance have been having sex?  My answer is “no.”  They weren’t, aren’t ready; emotionally, spiritually.  Should my birth parents had been having sex?  No.  But my parents did; and I am here; and I believe God intended for my life to happen, at this moment, at this time.  And Bristol and her fiance did have sex; and they have a child about to enter this world in four months; and this child will be God’s child, Mary’s child; a child whose life God intended to happen.

So, I am confused and conflicted with a question that I know only God can answer when he is ready to answer it.  Why am I here; why am I (hopefully) sanctifying my life for the glory and purpose of God, considering that the behavior that led to my creation should have never occurred?

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